Cross Country-Descriptive Writing

In room 7 Mr V has given us a special writing task. He has told us to write a description of the cross country from our point of view.
What we HAD to include:

-Show don’t tell -Descriptive language e.g. adverbs, adjectives, similes, metaphors etc -Correct Capital Letters and Full stops. -Try to include a conversation with speech marks.

This is a little bit of what I wrote.

My heart was pounding as we, the year 8 girls, lined up to tackle the Tawa Intermediate School cross country. I knew that no matter how hard I tried I would not be 1st. “Jess Kerr is just too fast” was all that was going through my head while Mr O’ C’ was telling us the instructions.
Mr O C’s yelling cut through my thoughts. “You have to remember that the first few seconds aren’t going to win you the honor of first place, so don’t trample anyone trying to get to the front of the pack. Ready, GOOOO!!!” He yelled.

We were off! As I ran past Mr V he yelled “C’mon Grace! Every person you pass is another point for rm7!” Round the block we went before running the actual course. I ran past at least 3 people on the block run. “I’ve made it past the block run, now for the big one” was all that was going through my head at the time. Up the hill and down the other side and again over the next hill. My breath was going in and out in big whooshing gasps.

My chest was on fire (or at least it seemed that it was) as I turned the corner to go back through the tunnel to school. “I hope I’m in the top 10. I hope I’m in the top 10”. My thoughts were muddling up in my mind.
Concentrating on the path, I ran my last few metres, passing someone as I went. By then my legs were numb so I couldn’t stop them from going faster than I ever have before. In through the channel I went. Finally I came to a stop right in front of Mrs Stewart. I took the ticket politely from her hand and looked at it. “7th Place! Last year I only got 14th!” I was so excited. I sat down in the middle of the courts and sighed. I had worked hard and got the result I was looking for, and only 1 other thought passed through my head that day; “I’m DONE!!!”
By Grace Burt



Overall our class did awesome, we came 6th in the class competition and our syndicate came 2nd in the syndicate competition! We had lots of people finish in the top 20!
Well Done!